Raising Strong Women

I recently had a conversation with the dad of a precocious and charming 5-year-old girl. He wants her to grow up to be a strong woman, but seemed confused as to how best to do that. He seemed a bit concerned about her attraction to “girly” things (my word, not his), but then in the next breath noted that his wife, clearly a strong woman, also liked make-up and nice clothes (apparently “girly” things).

I thought about how I was raised, given that I consider myself a strong woman. I told the dad that I had loved Barbies as a child (the ultimate “girly” thing), but that I also liked playing baseball. I recalled a conversation I once had with my mom. She told me that I (the wife) should “serve” my husband pie (keep in mind, it was a different generation). Wow, did that raise my hackles! I told her in no uncertain terms that if I wanted to get something for my husband because I loved him and wanted to do something nice for him, that was fine, but that I would not serve him simply because he was the man and I the woman. Her expression told me she was sure I was headed for divorce court (as an aside, my husband and I just celebrated our 22nd wedding anniversary). Despite her beliefs, I grew up to be a strong woman.

The point is, we don’t have to ban “girly” things in order for girls to be strong, any more than we have to ban “manly” things for our sons in order for them to be more nurturing (and by the way - why is it “girl”y for females, and “man”ly for males?).

What does all this have to do with leadership? We’ll talk about that in the next post.