The Women of Beacon of Life

On Wednesday evening, I had the opportunity to meet some amazing women. These women are a little different than most women we define as amazing. Usually we identify women such as Oprah, Meryl Streep and (depending on your political leanings) Sarah Palin/Hillary Clinton as amazing women. And certainly they are. But last night I met women like Susan (yes, these names have been changed), who was homeless and a recovering alcoholic; Jennifer, whose drug addiction caused her to “give up” her nine children for adoption, but who just completed her GED, is working, volunteering in her community and working towards her CNA; women who have been victims of domestic violence, have been homeless, and have been convicted of various crimes. But these women, against what looks like insurmountable odds, are battling back. They are taking responsibility for their lives, they are learning new skills that will help them be successful, and they are working hard to turn their lives around. It’s not easy for them, and some may not make it. Their definition of success may be vastly different from most people’s, but they are, day by day, working toward that success.

These are the women who live at Beacon of Life, a non-profit transitional housing center for women. It’s structured and it holds women accountable, but it is also a safe place to land. It’s a roof over their heads and food on the table, but even more than that, it’s a place to go when there is no other place to go. A place to rebuild lives in a supportive environment.

If you get a chance, go take the tour, send them a check, join a committee, or have fun at the Quiz Bowl (a quarterly fund raiser)! Go take a look at http://www.beaconoflifedm.org/.

Places like the Beacon also help the rest of us put our life and problems in perspective, and remind us to be grateful for all the blessings we have in life. Your responsibility, like the women at the Beacon, is to live your own amazing life.

Accountability

I once was the director of a small non-profit. We provided transportation for (primarily) senior citizens. One of our clients “James,” was very difficult. So difficult, in fact, that even my very best drivers refused to drive him, for a variety of reasons. My staff dreaded his calls, because he constantly changed his numerous appointments, creating a scheduling nightmare.

When it became apparent that we were not going to be able to continue to serve him, I sent a letter outlining the difficulties we had had with him, and reminding him that we had visited about these issues before, without resolution.

Interestingly, when he received the letter, he became very angry. He accused me of lying, of assaulting his character, and stated that I was the only one with whom he had a problem. At no time did he ever consider that he might bear some of the responsibility for the drastic step I had taken. None of it was “his fault.”

If we blame other people or events for our failures, we miss out on the chance to grow. Blaming others suggests that if the same situation came up, minus that other person/event, we could behave in exactly the same manner and be successful. Although this may be true sometimes, it is important to recognize what we did or did not do that contributed to the failure. If we do this, then when the situation comes up again, we can correct our own behavior and increase our likelihood of success. And, of course, we can’t control anyone’s behavior but our own anyway.

Are you taking responsibility for your mistakes and doing your best to correct them, or are you allowing denial to keep you from growth and a better, more rewarding way of doing things?