Accountability

I once was the director of a small non-profit. We provided transportation for (primarily) senior citizens. One of our clients “James,” was very difficult. So difficult, in fact, that even my very best drivers refused to drive him, for a variety of reasons. My staff dreaded his calls, because he constantly changed his numerous appointments, creating a scheduling nightmare.

When it became apparent that we were not going to be able to continue to serve him, I sent a letter outlining the difficulties we had had with him, and reminding him that we had visited about these issues before, without resolution.

Interestingly, when he received the letter, he became very angry. He accused me of lying, of assaulting his character, and stated that I was the only one with whom he had a problem. At no time did he ever consider that he might bear some of the responsibility for the drastic step I had taken. None of it was “his fault.”

If we blame other people or events for our failures, we miss out on the chance to grow. Blaming others suggests that if the same situation came up, minus that other person/event, we could behave in exactly the same manner and be successful. Although this may be true sometimes, it is important to recognize what we did or did not do that contributed to the failure. If we do this, then when the situation comes up again, we can correct our own behavior and increase our likelihood of success. And, of course, we can’t control anyone’s behavior but our own anyway.

Are you taking responsibility for your mistakes and doing your best to correct them, or are you allowing denial to keep you from growth and a better, more rewarding way of doing things?