Failure can be a good thing

Remember the good ol’ days when our parents let us fail? If we failed a test, our parents didn’t rush in insisting that the grade be changed or we be given a second chance. If we misbehaved in school, our parents didn’t call the principal and insist it was the teacher’s fault, and ask that our punishment be lifted (or argue that it was too harsh). We always kept score in sports, and if we didn’t win, our parents didn’t try to placate us by buying ice cream afterwards. Nor did they yell “good job” when we swung at, but missed the ball by a country mile. No, they had the audacity to suggest that perhaps we needed to practice more!

We have gotten to the point where we never let our kids fail – and this is a bad thing, for a number of reasons. Failure can be a really great teacher, especially with its negative consequences.

Failure also does a great job of discouraging kids from developing a sense of entitlement, because they know they won’t always get their way, especially if they don’t work hard to achieve their goals.

Finally, it’s better to learn how to deal with failure as a child when the consequences are not typically as dire as they can be when you fail as an adult.

Losing and winning are a part of life. If you don’t allow your kids to lose or fail (and experience that completely), you are doing them a disservice. It’s better to let them fail honestly, and then teach them how to get back up, dust themselves off, and try again. Self-esteem and self-confidence come from real achievement, not from a phony “good job!”